Enjoying the Simple Things

It's been a little quiet around these parts - we've been focused on staying home.

Staying together.

Funny. When this pandemic was announced and we went into quarantine - I could never have imagined that it would have gone on for this long. That 4 months later, not very much has changed.

And I definitely couldn't imagine that I might one day miss this time.

It's become what some might call the "new norm". But not in the way the media is using the term.

It's become the new norm for my little family.

We're home. We're together. We have learned what's truly important. And it lies between these four walls.

I think in some odd way, we've all begun to rely on each other more.

We expect dinner to be together.

We check more if any one of us is not here.

We are just together. 

I've always been a big proponent of the little things. The simples of things.

Have always believed that therein lies the magic of memories.

Here's a test -

Think about your very favourite childhood memory.

The one you never forget; the one that if you close your eyes, you can almost remember the feeling of being there. 

For me, the fondest memories are of weeknight trips to get ice cream with my dad. Sharing a Dairy Queen banana split. 

Sunday at the beach with family - if I close my eyes, I can almost taste the peaches my mom would hand out that I would enjoy while lying on a beach towel. (and brushing sand out of my mouth that got there from hours spent digging + no one telling me to wash my hands)

The point here is that I feel we try so hard to do these extraordinary things with our children. 

Vacations, extended day trips, staying at the best hotels - and all of these things are well and good (and I love them!) but the magic?

The magic is in the simple things.

Let's never forget.

God help us if this time hasn't taught us anything.

xo

Twenty One : Dear Izzy

 Dear Izzy,

It surely can't be that my sweet baby girl, the one who blessed me all those years ago, is twenty one today?

I stare at you sometimes.

When you're staring intently at the tv - or at your phone - 

I still sometimes can't believe you are mine.

You see, even though I am your mama, I'm still just a girl. Still someone who is trying to figure it out.

And trying not to mess up you, your brother and sister in the process. #truth

As women, we are just expected to know how to do it all Izzy.

To be strong - to be able to handle EVERYTHING.

But the truth is, we don't have to.

It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to not know what to do next. It's ok to mess up.

You are far too hard on yourself some days sweet girl.

I see how much you want to do well.

Do what's right. "Figure it all out".

But here I am, at forty nine, still trying to do just that.

And its OK.

It's more than OK.

You have far more discipline than I ever had at your age.

Likely more than I have today.

And for that, you will see, you will be whoever you want to be - do whatever you want to do.

If I've learned something in all of my years - it's that no amount of anything equals pure passion and hard work.

And this, you have.

Everything else will come in time.

This I promise you.

My Izzy, if I could have but one wish for you on your twenty-first birthday?

It would be that you enjoy every moment.

Big or small.

And to realize that things that seem so devastatingly important today.

Will mean nothing in the years to come.

Life is a gift because you are in it.

I love you my beautiful girl.

And I'm lucky to be your mama.

Happy Birthday.

xo 

Friday Favourites : Crayola Take Note! + A Giveaway

For just about as long as I can remember, Crayola has been a mainstay in our home in preparation for Back to School and really all the time.

All of my kiddos loved and still love to colour - to create, to take boring to bold.

Ava just finished a week-long art camp where she learned all about colour.

And Isabella? Entering fourth year at Ryerson and STILL colouring.

I often find her sitting in front of the tv - Crayola Take Note! markers out. Adult colouring book in hand.

She finds it relaxing and swears it helps her focus.

I might have started my 86 year old mother colouring recently as well.

When the team at Crayola Canada reached out and asked if the girls might like to create a pencil case and turn a boring old box into something boldly colourful; they jumped at the chance.
And this mama? I was just happy to see them doing something that doesn't involve screens creative together.
The TakeNote! Products are great for school age and university age alike. Isabella quickly snapped up all her favourites including washable gel pens, erasable highlighters and white board markers that take her from business classes to her after-school tutoring gigs with ease.

And all this fabulous colour helps keep her organized with colour coded notes that are helpful AND way more fun to look at.

Pretty fabulous n'est pas?

Equally as fabulous, the folks at Crayola Canada have graciously offered our readers a chance to win an entire set of Crayola's new Take Note! collection that features specially formulated and functional markers, washable (!) gel pens, ERASABLE highlighters (we're obsessed!) and lots more.
Take Note! is ideal for students who like to colour code notes, daily tasks and goals for maximum productivity - and just as awesome to transform practically any "boring" surface from paper, cloth, metal, plastic or glass.

What school age or university student couldn’t use a  little more colour in their lives?

ARV $85

Enter below and don't forget to leave us a comment telling us why you would love to have Crayola Take Note! products for Back to School.
Open to residents of Canada only.
#goforthebold


a Rafflecopter giveaway

This post was sponsored by Crayola. All opinions are strictly my own.
Good Luck! 

xo

Things Ava Says

I promised myself long ago, that I would do my best to always remember the things my children say.

But you see, age and the ongoing busy have a way of making you forget. 

So, I write things down. {brilliant idea right?}

I came across a note in my iphone the other day called Things Ava Says and thought I would share this pricelessness with you today.

Because this is the stuff.

These are the stories I want to tell her about when she's older.

How she made me laugh uncontrollably on our drives home.

How I had more than one what.the.actual.hell moment 

And more than a few where did this child come from?

Driving home from the first day at her new camp earlier this week -
"He totally has a crush on me. I can tell."
Mama: How do you know that Ava?
"He stares at me and always wants to be around me. Then he told me my clay pig was really good".

While watching her favourite dance show - The Next Step -
"I don't even know how she likes Noah, like when you look at him from THAT angle?"
"Mama, a lot them have some "small ones" {holds chest} - did you notice that?".

When she told me last year, rather out of the blue, that she wanted to take guitar lessons -
"It's hard to explain. I'm just more of a guitar person".

When I ask her how you know when someone's in love -
"They're doing a lot of "that" - {points at someone kissing} and whispers - having S-E-X. 
Yikes.

She hears a story about a woman committing a crime -
"She broke one of the 10 commandments!!"

When I call her anything but Ava Grace in public -
"I don't mind - at home you can do it as much as you want. I get embarrassed in front of older people when you say "boo boo" and all that".

And lastly, my personal favourite of late - when she has a big day -
"I gotta wear a pair of lucky underwear!".

My sweet girl.
Don't ever change.
xo 

A Coffee Date

It's about that time I think -

With January behind us still not sure where it went I thought I would sit down to coffee with all of you.

I take mine with milk, cream + sugar. Just one. 

And I'm probably wearing black leggings, a cozy turtleneck and my ugg boots.

Because it has been FREEZING in Toronto.

I prefer a seat by the fire if one is available.

Please and thank you.

Is it just me or the older you get, the quicker time goes?

I feel like school just started for the kids and here we are - staring at March Break.

And then back at it for a few more months.

And BOOM - Summer.

I'm not sure I like this.

My Isabella is almost done 3rd year of university.

I feel the same way about this as I do the above - I swear we were visiting schools trying to decide where she might go, like, yesterday. 

She's doing very well and has decided on a marketing major with a minor  in psychology and personally, I still think she should go that route.

I still remember so vividly how good she was with dealing with Julian when he was struggling so badly.

More patient than I was some days.

It really was touching to watch -

Alas, who ever agrees with their mother??

If you follow along with us on instagram you'll already have seen her new look.

I swear it's like looking into a mirror of myself all those years ago.

Except her colour is exactly the right shade and mine, well, wasn't.  

 Ms. Ava Grace is eight and three-quarters and still the same always happy ALWAYS TALKING little girl.

Albeit, her shoe size is that of a woman's.

And she seemingly outgrows all of her clothing each week.

I call her my little giraffe. Long legs and the tallest child in her grade.

She probably hates that.

I'm sure Cindy Crawford did too.

She is so inquisitive - always asking questions about everything.

All I can say is thank goodness for google since I don't know about you, but I know exactly nothing about the land formation of northern Canada or any land formation really. 

She's a fan of macarons, youtube anything and dancing more than she walks.

I hope that pure joy never changes.

My Julian is doing world's better.

And I feel it's all owed to never giving up on him and providing pure, unconditional love.

I assure you, this isn't always easy. He is miserable in the morning, in the evening and sometimes in between.

But some days, some days are so good.

He comes up to my room just to say hello.

To give me a kiss.

Or to tell me he loves me.

He is by far the most sensitive of the three.

Sometimes brought to tears just by talking about the mortality of my mother - his nana.

He recently lost a friend in a horrible car accident and I find his memorial card next to his bedside each morning.

It has taught me a lot about who he truly is.

And he is truly good.

Also, I'm not sure when but he's become a little man seemingly overnight.

He loves to call himself the "man of the house". Hysterical really since he does exactly nothing to earn that title other than leave his clothes everywhere and eat out the refrigerator on the daily. 

I'm still trying to hold it all together.

Be there for my children while trying to maintain my sanity and squeeze in a bit of me time every once in a while.

I've worked hard on tightening up my circle.

Keeping only those I truly know have my best intentions at heart in it.

And nurturing the relationships I know are present for the right reasons.

Like this one who loves all of us unconditionally and doesn't want for much other than our love back.

And food.

Ms. Sofie also wants lots of that.

Happy Wednesday indeed.

Dear Julian : On Being Sixteen

 Dear Julian,

I'm not sure what I was so busy doing in early April but I realized that I missed my favourite thing to do for you - write your annual birthday letter.

Today, I looked at last year's letter - and was so shocked to see how many had stopped in to read.

It was then I realized I hadn't written this years.

So here it is.

I know it may seem silly to you that I write you and your sister's a letter every year but I this I know for sure.

1. When I ask you to read yours (which I will do tonight) - you pretend that you don't like it but I know that you secretly do.

And 2. One day, perhaps when I am long gone, or when you have a family of your own - you might, YOU JUST MIGHT, look back at these letters and if I'm very lucky? They may touch you just a little bit.

You are 16.

Sixteen.

You aren't ready to drive just yet. Even though I push to you to get your learner's permit. Mostly because I think it well have you feeling accomplished. 

Your anxiety gets the best of you sometimes but I promise you my sweet boy, that stuff gets much better when YOU are in control.

Do you remember when I suffered so much and would often take the wheel from your dad? Somehow, I felt better when I knew fate was in my own hands.

{now...if we could just do the same thing on an airplane!} 

School has been going much better this year - I know you would still rather be anywhere but there but still, you go. 

You say you're doing it for me. I'll take that.

But really, you are doing it for you.

You still hate to shower.

Hate wearing socks.

Hate anything green.

And have less than zero patience.

You still love playing video games.

Eating nachos.

Listening to the hardest rap imaginable.

And making your little sister crazy.

Me?

I still love you most of all.

And I still kiss you every morning when you pretend to be are asleep.

I can still bring myself to tears when I think about how much I love you.

And I still think you are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on.

My Julian.

You will do great things one day - of that I am sure.

You just might kill me in the process. #lesigh

Love you beautiful boy.

Mama

xo

Twenty

My beautiful Izzy,

I could stare at this photograph all day long.

To me, it represents exactly how I see you - such innocence with just the slightest hint of mischief.

Today is your twentieth birthday.

TWENTY.

I can hardly believe it.

Yesterday I told you it was your very last day being a teenager.

You laughed.

But you see, it's true. You will never be as young as you were yesterday {or today} ever again.

Cherish that youth.

Do all that you want to do.

Live with no regrets. 

And remember my beautiful girl, everything - good or bad - is temporary.

I remember when you were 15. 16. 17.

You thought I was so hard on you.

Never letting you go to parties - imposing a pretty early curfew by your {ahem} friends standards.

I was always extra worried it's true.

Trying to protect you from danger but also, trying to ensure that you did things at the right time.

When I believed you were old enough to handle it.

And that you would not regret it later when the time was indeed "right" and you had already exhausted all that fun.

You brought it up recently and told me I wasn't wrong in doing so. That you saw that now.

Saw yourself how quickly young kids grow up.

And how fleeting childhood really is.

I'm so glad for that. 

Today my love - today, you are officially an adult.

And I think if I asked you if it was different than you imagined - wishing back then so desperately to grow up - today, you would say yes.

You might even wish for the days of no responsibility.

When your biggest worry was where to have your next birthday party.

Lord knows I do.

You have your entire life ahead of you - some of the best years of that life still to come.

The chance to follow your dreams. Love who you want. And be whoever it is that you want to be.

 I will encourage you always.

And will be there to catch you when you fall.

A mother's love is like no other.

You have learned this I believe - especially in the last few years.

I may get frustrated - I may say things you don't want to hear - I may even do things you will never understand.

But never, NEVER does it mean that I love you less.

The most important job I have? 

Is the job of being your mother.

And when I look at you? 

I think my work is done.

I love you my sweet girl.

Happiest of Birthdays to you.

xox

mama

Dear Ava...Now You're 8

Albeit late, I didn't want ms. Ava Grace's 8th birthday to go unnoticed.

I envision her one day reading through all of her letters - not unlike both Isabella and Julian have.

They don't say much but I know they get a kick out of reading about themselves and what they were like year after year.

I know I do.

And so, I continue.

Dear Ava,

You were counting down the days to 8. 

I think mostly because you knew it meant getting rid of your car booster. The moment I did so, you told your brother you were officially no longer a baby. And that he couldn't make fun of you anymore.

I'm not sure that alone will do the trick. 

You are in grade 2 and you love school.

You could read and write all day long - and right now, like myself years before you, the library is one of your favourite places to be.

You choose so many books that you are literally struggling to carry them all out.

But you don't waiver.

And you get through each one of them before reminding me 10x that it is time for them to be returned.

You are my own personal assistant.

My calendar.

My watch.

Sometimes I need to remind you that I have done all of this. Twice before.

You don't seem to care about that.

As you might have guessed, you are ALL about unicorns right now.

Sleeping with Crystal, your beloved little stuffed unicorn, every night. 

No, you haven't forgotten about Bobo but for now, he's sharing space.

I surprised you with a real live unicorn at your birthday party - you and ms. Lily became fast friends.

I will never forget how you stopped mid-party to come over to me for a hug telling me how thankful you were.

Ava, you have the kindest heart.

I learn both about being free-spirited and patient from you every day.

Your will to learn is unmatched and you will be the master of anything you set your mind to.

Of that, I am sure.

I knew from the minute you made your appearance that you were meant to be here.

Each year, this belief grows stronger.

I am blessed to be your mother.

I love you more than chocolate.

{and I reallllly love chocolate}

xo

mama

Stealing Memories : A Giveaway with Canvas Factory

I will say, it's not technically stealing per se since I am the one that took this photograph in the first place. But I did secretly do this for my girl. The day of her high school prom, we took what some might consider a ridiculous amount of pictures. But this one? It stood out for me.

The pure innocence of it combined with the pure joy on my Isabella's face. Still makes me melt every time I look at it. And if every picture tells a story - this one tells one of my favourites.

Canvas Factory made it so simple for me to create this keepsake for her - which she may or may not have received on the morning of her 19th birthday. Tons of available options for sizing, colour and effects; but somehow, I always go back to classic black + white. {you may notice my Julian's canvas in the background #creatureofhabit}

The team at Canvas Factory is giving you a chance to win a canvas of your own. Sized {like the one above} 16 x 20. And perfect for gift-giving to someone you love or better yet, keep this one for yourself.

Open to residents of Canada + the U.S.

a Rafflecopter giveaway



Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

                                                                                                                 - Dr. Suess

Life Lately

Some days, I feel like my life is just a whirlwind of waking up, frantically getting everyone ready for school, downing a coffee, rushing out of the house, drop offs and then, starting it all over again the next day.

Oh yes, there is pick up and dinner at some point.

Although the latter seems to be scarcer as the days go on.

Don't get me wrong - we do actually eat.

It's just not as thought out as it once was.

I told someone recently that I always overcook.

So used to prepping for a family of five - and now, between work and school for all - it's not often enough that we all sit down at the same time.

Some days, I just give up.

Others, I pretend to be super domestic and cook for days ahead.

It's a delicate balancing act.

But it works.

Isabella is in her 2nd year of university and is so dedicated to her schooling - honestly, she makes me so proud.

I can't say I had that same dedication.

I often think life should be lived in reverse.

Today, I think school would so be my thing.

Then, not so much.

My girl is driving. Working. Helping with her younger brother. Super independent.

I try to teach her every day not to rely on anyone.

She will learn that on her own I am sure; but raising strong girls has always been top priority for me.

Julian spends his days at school, gaming and making his little sister crazy.

Not necessarily in that order.

He is in 10th grade - almost half way through high school.

I remember Isabella telling me how quickly - too quickly - those years went. And how often she wishes she could go back to what now seem like such carefree years.

In just a few short years, at the tender age of 17, these kids need to decide the course of their future.

Even when they can barely decide what they want to eat for breakfast.

Just way, way too young.

My boy still feels he's going to be either a pro gamer, you-tuber or a rapper.

And I want him to be a dreamer.

At least for a little while longer, non?

Ava.

Oh, Ava.

This child is something else entirely.

I've always said she was sent here for a reason - meant to be here among us.

But she has been here before.

Of that I am sure.

Her vocabulary rivals that of a 25 year old. The things that come out of her mouth amaze me on the daily.

Currently, she's obsessed with all things dance.

Watching episodes of The Next Step likes it's her job.

And making comments like "Mom, I can't believe Jacquie likes Noah. Do you see his side profile? His nose?!"

#whoisthischild

Me? I'm just trying to slow things down.

Not worry so much about everything getting done.

I've found that no matter how hard you try, the laundry will still pile up. The ironing will still sit for days. The dust will come back. And the to-do list will always seem never-ending.

The now however, we can't get back.

So my goal this year?

Appreciate the little things. They truly are the big things in the end.

Happy Monday.

xo



Nineteen : Dear Izzy

 Dear Izzy,

Funny how we call you that.

When I chose your name, I envisioned calling you Bella.

Not sure we've ever called you that - even once.

You were Isabella.

My first born.

My heart.

And today, as you turn 19, you're just Izzy.

Isabella.

I want so many things for you.

But most of all, I want you to be whoever you want to be.

Just like my mother before you allowed me to be exactly what I wanted.

Never judging.

Even when I did the craziest stuff imaginable.

I know I made her insane most days.

Today - I realize that her reactions were those of unconditional love.

The same type of love I have for you my beautiful girl.

You are me.

More than the others.
I know everyone tells you that - but Izzy, you are far more.
You pick up where I left off and do better.
Pushing yourself harder than I ever did.
Without any prompting from anyone.
No matter how many times I tell you to go easy on yourself.
You just continue to be the best that you can be.
Often at the expense of yourself.

You care so much about what is right.
Just.
And are sensitive. And kind. And thoughtful.
I like to think you learned some of this from me.
I hope I instilled in you that giving is so much sweeter than receiving.
That not everyone will appreciate your efforts - and that those need to be done for no one but yourself.
That speaking your mind and sharing your wisdom should never not be an option.
That you are beautiful on the outside but far, far more beautiful on the inside.
And that the right boy will care about that far more than how you present yourself to the world.

I have done many of the things you are doing before you.
And made many of the same mistakes.
Some days, the toughest part of being your mother is not warning you enough about those.
Not always catching you before you fall.
And days where even I can't stop the tears - of heartbreak or of frustration.
Know that I have cried a river before you.
And if I could, would take each of your tears as my own.

Your smile lights up a room little girl.
And my wish for you, on this day, and every day is that your smiles outweigh your sadness.
That your heart is always full.
And that you are always treated - by everyone - the way you DESERVE to be treated.

No one will ever love you like I do.
My baby girl.
Then, today, always.

xo
mama