The Birthday Girl

I'm almost one month late with this post but I couldn't pass up the chance to celebrate this year and all the good that came.

It's funny - how when you're a kid, you think anything over say, twenty-five is old.

And now, now that I just turned forty nine? I think the best years of my life are still ahead of me.

In the spirit of sharing the joy that is 49.

Here are 49 things you never really wanted to know about me.

1. I was named for my brother's grade school crush.

2. I love pickles on my tuna sandwich. So what about it?

3. I would never survive in the wilderness.

4. If I could hang out with one celebrity, alive or dead, it would be Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna. I know that's two. It's my birthday.

5. The most gracious celebrity I've ever met was Olivia Palermo. Love, love.

6. Diet coke is my vice. With lemon + lots of ice.

7. I don't eat seafood.

8. Sleeping is pretty much my favourite thing to do.

9. I hate tights.

10. They used to call me Pac Man Queen as a kid. Yes, I was that good.

11. I never pass up dessert.

12. Bath over a shower, always.

13. I love the feel of fresh, crisp sheets.

14. I own far, far too many pairs of jeans. And black pants.

15. I can speak, read and write in 2 languages other than english.

16. I hate camping.

17. My favourite colour is baby blue.

18. I'm not a dog person.

19. I will never wear unmatched underclothes or nail/toe polish. Like ever.

20. Ocean over pool.

21. I love coffee. Although I didn't start drinking it until my early 30's.

22. I can cook. Baking not so much.

23. I was born in Toronto.

24. I think a lot about what happens when we die.

25. The day I became a mother for the first time was the best day of my life.

26. I love puzzles. Like really love.

27. I was team Angelina.

28. I believe you should invest in good shoes, good handbags + good sunglasses. The rest is negotiable.

29. I love to write.

30. The best place I've ever been to is St. Barth's.

31. I talk a lot. A LOT.

32. I especially love talking to random strangers. My kids not so much.

33. In another life, I would have been a personal shopper.

34. I love the smell of gasoline.

35. I sometimes think about my morning coffee as I'm falling asleep. See #21.

36. If my house caught on fire and I could only save one possession - I would choose photos.

37. I prefer red licorice.

38. Italian food is my favourite.

39. I wear a size 7.5 shoe

40. If I could have one talent, it would be drawing.

41. I believe women should try to compliment each other whenever they can.

42. I was ridiculously sick when I was pregnant.

43. Peanut butter and chocolate is my favourite combination.

44. I have worn Dolce + Gabbana's Light Blue for as long as I can remember.

45. I could look at old photos for hours. Anyone's. I love the stories behind the pictures. See #36.

46. I am pro choice.

47. I wear my watch on my right arm.

48. I love a good deal. And refuse to pay full price for just about anything. Except #28.

49. The only time I have ever been envious of another woman was seeing pregnant girls after my first was born. True story.

This year, among many things, I learned that the best things in life are indeed free.

That seeing my children happy makes me happiest of all.

That if you let yourself, you can regain faith in humanity. And find that there are still incredible people out there that you have yet to meet.

I learned that sometimes, you need to let go.

That there are people in your life that are not worth holding onto.

And that the older I get, the less I care what people think.

That is everything.

Happy Birthday to me.

xo 

Dear Julian : On Being Sixteen

 Dear Julian,

I'm not sure what I was so busy doing in early April but I realized that I missed my favourite thing to do for you - write your annual birthday letter.

Today, I looked at last year's letter - and was so shocked to see how many had stopped in to read.

It was then I realized I hadn't written this years.

So here it is.

I know it may seem silly to you that I write you and your sister's a letter every year but I this I know for sure.

1. When I ask you to read yours (which I will do tonight) - you pretend that you don't like it but I know that you secretly do.

And 2. One day, perhaps when I am long gone, or when you have a family of your own - you might, YOU JUST MIGHT, look back at these letters and if I'm very lucky? They may touch you just a little bit.

You are 16.

Sixteen.

You aren't ready to drive just yet. Even though I push to you to get your learner's permit. Mostly because I think it well have you feeling accomplished. 

Your anxiety gets the best of you sometimes but I promise you my sweet boy, that stuff gets much better when YOU are in control.

Do you remember when I suffered so much and would often take the wheel from your dad? Somehow, I felt better when I knew fate was in my own hands.

{now...if we could just do the same thing on an airplane!} 

School has been going much better this year - I know you would still rather be anywhere but there but still, you go. 

You say you're doing it for me. I'll take that.

But really, you are doing it for you.

You still hate to shower.

Hate wearing socks.

Hate anything green.

And have less than zero patience.

You still love playing video games.

Eating nachos.

Listening to the hardest rap imaginable.

And making your little sister crazy.

Me?

I still love you most of all.

And I still kiss you every morning when you pretend to be are asleep.

I can still bring myself to tears when I think about how much I love you.

And I still think you are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on.

My Julian.

You will do great things one day - of that I am sure.

You just might kill me in the process. #lesigh

Love you beautiful boy.

Mama

xo

On My Birthday

Today is my birthday. 

And in an ode to my younger self, here is what I wish I could have told her.

Krsko, Slovenia. My grandmother's house, circa 1973.

Enjoy your alone time. Times you thought you were "bored". 

In later years, you will be happy to go to the bathroom without an entourage.

Don't be so mean to your mama. In the morning, when she wants to make you breakfast, eat something if only to make her happy. She is just doing it because she loves you so much. 

Get out of the fashion industry. Now. It won't be what you end up doing. And the long hours are wreaking havoc on your legs. Those varicose injections? They hurt. A lot. 

Bad boys are the devil. 

Stop it with the tanning competitions already. You will NEVER be darker than your friends. And in the end, you will be the winner anyway since they will have more wrinkles than you. Ha. 

You will have this crazy idea to get a tattoo just because. Don't do it! You will regret it and then you will spend ridiculous amounts of money to get it removed. And it will hurt. A lot. 

Travel more. See the world. In later years, you will have a fear of flying and it won't be as easy. Plus, you will have 3 kids (3!! Can you believe it?!) in tow. Also not so easy. 

Don't ever drink Jack Daniel's. Even with diet coke. And even when your friends say that it is not so bad. You will be oh so sick. But it will be one of the first and last times. You learn quickly. 

Enjoy the littlest things in life. One day you will realize that they are truly the big things. The ones that are most important. Oh, and buy the shoes!

Friends will come and go, but the true ones? They will stay for the long haul. 

Happy Birthday to me.
And Happy Monday to all of you. 

Things I learned at 40

They say life begins at 40. I am not sure who they are but I will take this to mean that the understanding of life begins somewhere around 40. And this is sadly true.

Here is what I've learned so far:

• My mother WAS always right. She doesn't read this blog and I will never, ever admit this to her.
• Marrying your friend is far more important than marrying the best looking or most successful. I lucked out and got both. And today, I am thankful that when something happens - whatever that may be - he is still the first person I want to share it with.
• Red nail polish calls for the shortest nails you are willing to wear.

• Tattoos really are forever. And laser removal? It hurts. A lot.
• Having a baby at 39 really does keep you young. I highly recommend it.
• You can wear long hair at 40. REALLY long hair.
• I still hate to fly. I will always hate to fly.
• It is possible to survive on little to no sleep for 18 months. You will want to kill yourself but you will somehow make it through.
• You will be more anxious at 40. Cautious. The 20's were such bliss in their ignorance.
• Sleep is the best medicine. Laughter is a close second.
• I should have tried Dr. Pepper earlier than just this past Friday. Christina never told me it tasted like cherry coke. I love cherry coke. 
• Note to self: Blonde. Don't try brown, you will ALWAYS regret it. And always end up back in the salon going, you guessed it, blonde.

• True friends? Really true friends. Are incredibly hard to come by. Hold onto the ones that are worthy of the title.
• You will one day get irritated by how loud they play the music in the likes of Abercrombie and Hollister. Yes, even though you used to do the same and worse in your own car. 
• There are a few things that look good on no one. Blue eyeshadow is one of them. Spice colored hose is another. Followed closely by white shoes. A true friend would tell you that. 

Happy Monday!