Ava Grace's Closet: The worst night ever. Almost.
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Monday, January 16, 2012

The worst night ever. Almost.

When Ava was just a few days old and I was in the worst state of my post-partum craziness, we had to take a little trip to the E.R.
I was nursing. And each evening, I would take my sweet baby girl to my room and nurse her in my bed as she lay beside me. I always had a little white receiving blanket under her. 
This night was no different.
She nursed in the glow of just a nightlight. 
I watched her and watched the little pool of red form under her mouth.
And then, she spit up. 
Blood. A lot of it.

I called out to my husband.
Held the baby. Screaming like a wild woman now sitting in the rocking chair in her bedroom.
I was screaming something along the lines of "she's going to die". Repeatedly I think.
Post-partum at it's finest and not one of my prouder moments.
My poor Julian was crying right alongside me. Maybe louder.

We called my father who rushed over so we could take the baby to the hospital.
Sitting there, I remember being paranoid about germs because she was just so tiny.
They quickly took us in.
Having a 4 day old will do that.
Once inside, a young doctor greeted us. The baby was sleeping peacefully.
I was sitting on a chair staring at her.
He read the chart. Glanced at me.
And asked if if he could have a look at my breastfeeding mama breasts.
"How painful has nursing her been for you?" he asked.
I replied "pretty painful". Like clench your teeth.cry a little.scream sometimes.dread feeding times painful.
Especially when she was latching on.
He smiled. Smiled!

"Where do you think the blood came from dummy?" he asked.
"Ummmm, from me?" I asked. Although of course, I knew. 
A saner.not post-partum.didn't have another baby after 8 years me would have pieced this together. 
And not panicked.
But then, there would be no reason to begin calling Ava Renesmee.
Our little vampire.
In case you're wondering, I attended a breast feeding clinic the very next day where a lovely nurse showed me how to correctly latch little Renesmee.
And in a few days, the pain was all but gone.
A few weeks after that, so was my craziness. Sort of.


  1. Haha, I'm so glad it wasn't anything!!

    The picture is priceless :) Thanks for linking up!

  2. This was too funny and I loved it because the same thing happened to me! Although rather than a trip to the ER it was a frantic phone call to our pediatrician on Christmas eve

  3. Not crazy at all... when you are "new" to things, you don't often think clearly. You want to do things right and you *expect* things to be just right. I always assumed it would be painful and didn't think twice about the pain of breastfeeding either... until I had mastitis and that changed me. I was in bed with a fever and could barely nurse. Then I thought I was going to die and my baby wouldn't have milk to survive. Yep... post-partum craziness... lots of fun, isn't it?! Looking back I'm sure there's so much we would change... but here we are now looking back and laughing at the events... FUN TIMES AHEAD, SUSAN! :) FUN TIMES!!!! Have a great week. (Um... that picture scares me! :(... eeeek!)

  4. I think anyone who nurses is a total champ...seriously my hero! Nursing was worse than labor for me and the worst week of my life...no joke...I stopped and it was heaven from then on out ;) With Jude being in the NICU is was easier not to...so I think I will keep to the non-nursing with this baby:)

  5. another Twihard ;)
    Love the spin on your story ... but i too remember those painful days and old ladies telling me to put cabbage leaves in my nursing bra - cos that would be attractive ;)

  6. Wow! I am so glad things worked out and she was okay!

  7. Oh my, those early days- they can rock us to our core, can't they?

    I adore the way you reflected on this and the vampire eyes? Genius, woman! :)

  8. Oh, little Renesmee!

    And poor, tired and confused mama!

    I'm glad you two worked out the breastfeeding thing. Continuing like that would not have been fun.

    Sometimes moments serve as an excellent reminder of what we have survived. We're tough, us mamas!

  9. You had me totally freaked out! Thank goodness the men in our lives can figure it all out thru the crazy ;-)
    Very funny picture to capture that memory!

  10. I had this exact same experience (minus the ER - I called our Dr.) Breastfeeding my first was so painful and the cracks... well needless to say the dr. told me she couldn't digest the blood. It was very scary to see my newborn puke blood!

  11. Hee! Just goes to show the power of post partum. It kinda makes me feel better that this type of thing could happen to even a third-time mom - does that make me a bad person???

  12. There should be a book on the stuff they don't tell us I swear - postpartum or not, I would have been freaking out..love the pic

  13. So happy that day is long behind you... can't even begin to imagine what an emotional roller coaster. Cute pic. Happy Monday..xo HHL

  14. Ugh, I can literally feel sharp pains just reading that....it is the worst feeling, very happy that time is behind me!!!!

  15. Ouch! Poor lady! I am so glad that your little Ava was alright..and the Renesme thing made me laugh so hard!

  16. OMG so glad it's nothing serious tho but yeah I would be freaking the hell out myself too. :D

  17. I'm so glad to hear that everything was okay. I love the picture of little Ava, so adorable...she would be the perfect Renesmee :) xo

  18. Oh, I remember that pain. It was toe curling, and not it a good way!

    Such a darling little girl. Hard to see her as a blood sucker, huh?

  19. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious (now of course) I totally get this... from the crazy hormones after giving birth, to being a new mom, to having kids that suck so hard you bleed... I get it all! Glad nothing was wrong. But dang, that must have been a lot of blood!

  20. OH, man! that must have hurt sooo badly! I went to a 4 hour nursing clinic by a renowned lactation specialist and author before I had my first. People laughed at me. But I tell you, that clinic saved me!!

  21. LOVE this story. Cracking up. And I love that you named her Renesmee for it!

  22. I was reading this and started to feel all worried about what was going to happen at the end of it. Totally wasn't expecting that!! haha.

  23. Love that picture, it fits the story perfectly!


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