Ava Grace's Closet: Now you're 40
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Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Now you're 40

I'll be the first to admit that turning 40 was a really big deal for me.
Mostly because I still feel 29 in my head.
Once there though, I sort of felt like not much had changed. 
I still paused each time someone asked me how old I was, looked over at my husband, and struggled with my response. Letting go of 30-something was a tough go.
The early years of 40 went by in somewhat of a newborn baby blur - I didn't feel that different than when I had Isabella except for the fact that I was way, WAY more tired.
Now, with {ahem} 45 upon me, not sure how or when that happened but I don't like it, I am starting to feel 40.
My dear friend Valerie and I had brunch on the weekend and we both agree that during the first few years of being "in your 40's" you are basically pretending not to be. Grappling with the idea that the 30's are gone forever. And then, the truth painfully sets in.
And by painfully, I am mostly talking about back pain. 
We chatted about things that have most definitely changed since now you're 40, namely:

1. The 4 and a half inch heels that we so lovingly wore in our 20's and 30's are now a thing of memories and dusty shelves. Sure, we will wear them on rare occasion but overall, we've both pretty much moved into sensible shoes territory. Now there's 2 words I never thought I would be synonymous with.

2. Warmth. As in, you will never truly be warm again. I am in a constant mode of freezing. We both agreed that by far, the very best investment we've made in recent years, to quote Val, is "a super warm but still sexy" down-filled coat. 

3.  An early bedtime. One of the reasons we decided on brunch is because whenever we try to get together for dinner, both of us are yawning at 10pm. This from two girls who loved to burn the midnight oil dancing into the wee hours of the night. Neither of us are sure where those two girls went but they are likely wearing flannel pjs, WITH socks and fast asleep by 11 each night.

4. Investing in your skin. We both thought we were pretty good at getting ahead of this one but truth be told, no amount of high-end skincare is as good as a wee bit of botox.

5.  Tanning be banned. While I love the beach as much as the next girl, I am now armed much differently than I was in my younger years. Then, less was more and an SPF of 4 seemed like a perfectly good idea. Today, a full piece, cover up, beach umbrella, large sun hat and SPF of 70+ fits the bill. My goal is always to remain as fair as possible following a trip to a sunny destination - basically the polar opposite of the competitive tanning phase of my youth.
6. The gym is your new best friend. My girl friend swears by it - basically it helps her last until the 11pm bedtime when really, she would probably prefer to be in bed by 9. And while I have yet to convert, I do realize that things that were so tight you could bounce a quarter off them before, are now well, not. No one looks pretty waving their hand and their upper arm skin at the same time - precisely why I am basically doing some form of weird arm lift numerous times a day including on my morning commute. No, I am not kidding.

7.  Lighten up. Gone are the raven haired, ink black hair days. Just a few face-framing highlights can do wonders for the darker haired set. Val finally took the plunge and she looks STUNNING. Like, best I've ever seen her look. It's amazing actually how much brighter the skin looks. 
Note: we did not take any selfies on said brunch Sunday mostly because we are old and forget to. Just take my word for it. 

8. And lastly, while no one really wants to speak about it, including us girlfriends, we all know it's there. The dreaded oh my god I just peed myself a little sneeze. laugh. No amount of kegels will help but just keep at it - doctor's orders.
After all, now you're 40 and everything.


  1. Lol loved this post - only a few more years and I will be there with ya in the 40s club. How did that happen?!

  2. Dearest Susan,
    Had to laugh about #6 with the upper arm thing!
    My best friend Mariƫlle came to stay with us in April, last year and she joked about the Dutch King's grandmother who used to wave from her golden carriage (on Prinsjesdag, like Princes day, or a kind of State of the Union). She too had such flabby and wavy upper arms. So the women in The Netherlands have been referring to that 'upper arm' problem like having 'Juliaantjes' after Juliana the grandmother of the present King.
    Hilarious in a way and it proves that no matter, being royalty and very wealthy, it does not prevent you from entering that stage. And so what? Of course I do look at photos how my upper arms look like and never use those ugly ones but knowing that we have to get used to it and we're not the first and will not be the last ones either.
    As for going to the gym, my definition is, if you do your housekeeping, you do enough of stretching, bending, running, lifting etc. And by the way, did any of our grandmothers EVER go to the gym?! Even not our own mothers... So why would we?!
    The very same for Botox or any such treatment. Not for me! It does not look natural and I'd rather look like the other half of a couple instead of a miss-matched barbie doll imitation. The latter is of course pointing towards those that go all the way and have cosmetic surgery done.
    It takes courage to walk through life like our ancestors did, on their own merits and with natural grace!


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