Ava Grace's Closet: On Authenticity

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

On Authenticity

If you look around you, at your family, your friends, neighbours...
tell me, how many truly authentic people do you know?
And by authentic, I mean, people who are true to who they really are. Aren't trying to "keep up". Aren't trying to outdo you. 
Aren't trying to outdo themselves.
Aren't trying to be something they're not. 

This topic of conversation came up recently between me and a dear friend of mine. 
We were talking about a family we knew and how much they had changed over the course of the last few years since becoming "more successful". It's interesting. When most people define success, they define it based on monetary achievement. 
I am guilty of it myself.
But really, what is truly important? 
These particular individuals seemingly forgot everything that used to be. 
It's sad really. 

If a person is so caught up in keeping up, do they lose who they authentically are? Are they so caught up with "things" and BIGGER and BETTER that they forget what is most important?
Would those same people be there for you if you were in need?
Don't get me wrong. 
I like nice things. Maybe more than the next girl.
But I would never.ever put those things in front of my relationships. Or choose friendships based on this. 
I love that I can sit in a room of my friends and that some of them have more shoes than any one girl really should. And that others could care less.
This is what makes each of them special. Different. Amazing.
I truly think that as I get older, I look at those who I want to be surrounded by differently.
Let's be honest here. We are all "fake" to some degree and by that I mean, we have to be cordial with certain people in our lives. Maybe fake is a strong word. 
Teachers at our children's school. Neighbours. 
Family members or extended family members who may not be your favorites. 
You know what I mean.
These are not the individuals who know your soul.

My true friends do. 
They know who I am inherently. 
They know that I may have a tough exterior but that inside, I am a marshmallow. 
And I in return know them. 
I am blessed. 
I am one of those girls who has friendships that have gone the long haul. 
Girlfriends who are more sisters than friends.
Authentic. 
'cuz Lord, if that crazy ain't authentic I don't know what is!!
 
This post was burning a hole in my mind. 
It kept coming to me and I knew I had to write it down so I wouldn't forget how I felt right now. 
And why in the last little while I have bowed out of not one, but two social engagements that would have had me sitting at tables with groups of women who I know are not what they appear to be. 
And honestly? I'm too old for it.

Happy Tuesday friends.
all images and quotes sourced via pinterest. 

12 comments :

  1. Dearest Susan,
    You are a girl of my heart! Your last sentence is NOT true; you are NOT too old for it but rather TOO SMART! We face(d) the very same issues and I know what you mean. Often we have to put up with that phony and fake world because of work, colleagues, acquaintances that you don't really 'like' and it feels uneasy for having to keep your toes curled up inside your shoes. THAT is a Dutch expression... not showing your feelings with your facial expressions but letting your toes express themselves for you. No it is not worth it, not for our relatively short lives here on earth. We have our family, partner first and than some true soul friends. Do we need more? Like you, I am a very loyal friend and in a few years my Dutch friend Ellie and I will celebrate our 'golden' anniversary. Ruby we did celebrate and we gave each other a piece of jewelry to remember forever. THAT is being rich and it is truly rich and not just skin-deep for showing off. Here in the USA I do have friends with whom I will celebrate soon my 'pearl' anniversary; enough said.
    Funny, that this post was burning a hole in your mind. I did write my post today also about a burning hole in my mind. Had to vent it; had to get it out. We have to come 'Back to Basics' and to RESPECT. Not entitlement and show-off time. No one is entitled to be above the other; money can never buy class nor lasting friendship.
    You are blessed for having enough brains in your pretty head to SEE this clearly. No doubt you will pass this on to your beautiful daughters and son as well. You are not alone. You know, Pieter and I have been professional (scientific) writers. Publishers always told us that for every written letter or publication they calculate 1,000 more 'silent' non-written persons that are in agreement! Hats off to you for being straight forward and brave enough.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    PS as a friend, you always are welcome down south...

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  2. Good Morning Bella! It's like you were peaking in on my thoughts ..lol.. everything you have written is so true! Why do people choose to be something they are not? Is a million dollar question. Lately I have been thinking why is it that women will spend money on an imitation something or other - instead of actually saving for an original of the item?

    And yes, "keeping up with the Italian Princesses and most cases old wicked Queens" is not my cup of tea ... give me the country and a simple life any day. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy things about city life, and when I go to my house in the city I'm liking it more - but I'm still trying to maintain simplicity.

    Great post! Hugs and Blessings, C. (HHL)

    P.S. Hope Miss A. is feeling better.

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  3. I agree with Mariette - not too old, but too smart! :)

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  4. WOW! This is a great post... absolutely nothing is better than authenticity. Integrity. Each night, I want to look in the mirror and know that I have lived that day with integrity. Who has time for games? Or energy?

    Thanks for writing this post. :)

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  5. Such a great post, Susan ... and I know exactly what you mean. That quote about "catching those idiots" had me laughing out loud! xoxo

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  6. I got a tear-eyed there for a minute :( But lovely post. And you know, life is like a roller-coaster - it's got its ups and downs.

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  7. Such a heart felt post. Beautiful insight, Susan.

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  8. Great ruminations! I especially love the quote from Dita ;) Thanks for sharing!

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  9. What a fantastic post. I have been feeling the same way lately. We are filling ourselves up with stuff and not with the truly important things in life.

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  10. thanks for sharing your heart today! i know if we lived close we would be good friends!! ;)

    i tend to keep friends few and close ... and if i am being honest most of my "friends" happened to be family as well ;) with that comes a lot of can you pick up the kids from school? can they come over and play? can you watch so and so on friday /// this happens b/c i am almost always home ... with that said I have recently gained a new friendship and it is so refreshing to just have a friend. not someone who wants or needs something. just a friend.

    great great post!

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  11. Ahhh, such a beautiful post, from a beautiful heart!

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  12. AMEN, Sister! SUCH a great post & I couldn't agree more! Girl…we are SO alike…it's crazy! =) I knew I loved you from the start…and now more than ever…I know why. =) Love you to pieces & I'm SO blessed to have you in my life! XO

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I love reading every last one. Thanks so much for stopping by our little blog. xo.

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