Ava Grace's Closet: Dear Julian : On Being Sixteen

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Dear Julian : On Being Sixteen

 Dear Julian,
I'm not sure what I was so busy doing in early April but I realized that I missed my favourite thing to do for you - write your annual birthday letter.
Today, I looked at last year's letter - and was so shocked to see how many had stopped in to read.
It was then I realized I hadn't written this years.
So here it is.

I know it may seem silly to you that I write you and your sister's a letter every year but I this I know for sure.
1. When I ask you to read yours (which I will do tonight) - you pretend that you don't like it but I know that you secretly do.
And 2. One day, perhaps when I am long gone, or when you have a family of your own - you might, YOU JUST MIGHT, look back at these letters and if I'm very lucky? They may touch you just a little bit.

You are 16.
Sixteen.
You aren't ready to drive just yet. Even though I push to you to get your learner's permit. Mostly because I think it well have you feeling accomplished. 
Your anxiety gets the best of you sometimes but I promise you my sweet boy, that stuff gets much better when YOU are in control.
Do you remember when I suffered so much and would often take the wheel from your dad? Somehow, I felt better when I knew fate was in my own hands.
{now...if we could just do the same thing on an airplane!} 
School has been going much better this year - I know you would still rather be anywhere but there but still, you go. 
You say you're doing it for me. I'll take that.
But really, you are doing it for you.

You still hate to shower.
Hate wearing socks.
Hate anything green.
And have less than zero patience.
You still love playing video games.
Eating nachos.
Listening to the hardest rap imaginable.
And making your little sister crazy.

Me?
I still love you most of all.
And I still kiss you every morning when you pretend to be are asleep.
I can still bring myself to tears when I think about how much I love you.
And I still think you are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on.
My Julian.
You will do great things one day - of that I am sure.
You just might kill me in the process. #lesigh

Love you beautiful boy.
Mama
xo

2 comments :

  1. Dearest Susan,
    You sure are giving to your children the most treasured letters of LOVE!
    They might not yet get the full scope of it but they will in decades to come...
    When I immigrated, I was twice the age of Julian but I can assure you that Mom's letters, are treasures now. She lives in heaven since January 27, 2015.
    Also, I'm the ONLY sibling having any such letters, witch her thoughts, her worries of the moment. Precious and they last forever because they got written down.
    SO much more valuable than a spoken word, words dissipate once spoken...
    I'm feeling RICH for having Mom's letters and I've yet to scan another box (that Pieter found under the front porch storage room...) and list them by date. Then I will post them on a private blog for my siblings to read. It sure will touch their souls. Even if they never ever want to admit it.
    Sending you a big hug and keep being the wonderful, warm and passionate Mom and centipede you have managed to be!
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww thank you so much Mariette! This means so much to me - you have no idea.

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I love reading every last one. Thanks so much for stopping by our little blog. xo.

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