Ava Grace's Closet: A Coffee Date
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Friday, August 11, 2017

A Coffee Date

The last time we sat down for coffee was last January.
This is not ok.
I take mine with one sugar, one milk + one cream these days in case you were wondering.
And usually, it's the best part of my day.
Often thinking about it as I lay down to sleep.
Life has been a whirlwind to say the least - I struggle to keep up most days.
Other days, are perfect.
Much like the ones spent in St. Lucia a short few weeks ago.

Ava Grace finishes a 2 week dance camp program today.
She's such a different kid than my other two.
Walked right in on the first day - no fear. By lunchtime, she owned the place.
I got to see their "camp end" performance yesterday and she giggled the entire time.
So proud.
I'm hoping she wants to continue the learning and start dance this fall.
Good for the soul.

She keeps me on my toes everyday.
You just never know what she is going to say next.
Like this past weekend when she woke up on Saturday, got herself ready and proclaimed 'I'm having a really good hair today.".
Really kiddo?
You are SEVEN.

Julian starts 10th grade next month.
I still picture him as a little guy in his crib - standing up and smiling at me when I walked into his room.
The cliche is true. They grow up so fast.
And while each day feels long at times; the years are short.
I do miss the days where I knew exactly where he was at all times.
When I was his favourite no matter what.
And when he didn't talk back.

I have had a really difficult year with him.
One of the hardest in my life.
He, of all of the kids, is taking the separation and pending divorce the worst.
He just wants his family back together.
Misses his old house.
Just doesn't get why this had to happen.
He has done things that are too painful for me to talk about just yet.
For now, today, he is good.
We have many late night conversations him and I. Have grown very close through all of the pain.
And for that I am thankful.
I love him something fierce.
My heart literally aches when I look at him. 
Please say a prayer for my sweet boy - for strength. For guidance.
His heart is good.

My Isabella has had a ridiculously busy summer.
Between doing an additional course downtown to working an almost full time job in a local real-estate agency plus her seemingly never-ending social life this girl is BUSY.
Her boyfriend of one year goes back to school in London this weekend.
I anticipate lots of tears.
From her and me.
It is incredible to look at your child and see yourself.
And this kid is all me.
I'm not talking about her appearance - it's her soul. Her sensitivity. How quickly she can be brought to tears when speaking about things that are important to her.
The way she sleeps.
Truly incredible.
I tell her everyday how amazing she is.
And to never, ever change.
Not for anyone.

I am probably the happiest I have been in a very long time.
I feel like a caged bird that was set free.
I love being able to do what I want, when I want.
To not have to worry about pleasing anyone.
Or what to make for dinner.
My heart is very full.
And I have truly special relationships in my life that would never have been had this not happened.
I am excited for what the future will bring.
But for now, I have the most important thing in the world.

Thanks for stopping by our little blog.
I know posting has been sporadic but I love this little space.

Happy Friday.

1 comment :

  1. Dearest Susan,
    Yes, a year is gone again... And what you sum up about your three 'minis', product of their Mom and their Father, is at times very touching.
    Julian always has been a quiet, more introvert type but he is also very sensitive... Sure he was a Daddy's boy and that is torn apart now, no more complete family that is.
    Hope he will grow out of this raw feeling of hurt and finding peace too.
    Ava is so energetic and probably will take emotional things the easiest of all three.
    Wishing you good luck; all of you that is.


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