And somehow, I still can't believe it's true even though it been over 2 weeks since my original baby girl's birthday.
Her champagne birthday. Same birth date and age.
And yet, the champagne I bought still remains unopened in the refrigerator.
Our plan was to have cake and a little wee sip. Maybe my neglect was a way to hold on?
I never thought I would be such a sentimental mother.
But turns out, I was wrong.
I often think about how the years have passed, how I know that we have to savour each one as all of the moments that seem SO important at that time are so fleeting.
When I think of Isabella, I vividly remember a particularly warm, sunny late October day.
We were in our first house and I was sitting in an upstairs bedroom.
The curtains were neutral with a wildflower print and the light shone in such a way that there were floral patterns on the wall and ceiling.
The room was warm.
My husband came in and I smiled and said "I am so happy".
It might have been the happiest time of my life - revelling in the early days of new motherhood.
Today, she has become a young woman who is so strikingly similiar to who I was at that age that sometimes, it throws me.
She looks like me, yes, but it is her mannerisms and her thinking that are unequivocably mine.
It is the strangest thing.
I want to remember how hard she is on herself.
How hard she works at doing well at school.
Mature beyond her years.
She won't wear much make up for fear of looking like she's "trying too hard".
Her style all her own.
Her room is the messiest thing I have ever seen.
She loves sweets just like her mama.
And has watched reruns of Gossip Girl at least 4 times now.
She loves music. And sings along.
And sometimes, on increasingly rare occasions, she sits down at the piano to play and sing.
I love those times.
Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky.
She is a blessing.
And I am blessed to call her mine.
Love you my sweet girl.
Don't ever change.