This has been on my heart lately and like always, when I think about something too much, I have the overwhelming urge to write it down. Get it out. Share it.
You see, I knew it was going to happen, I was just hoping it wouldn't happen quite this quickly.
I tried to keep her little.
Maybe a little too much so.
But my original baby girl? She is growing up.
And this mama didn't realize how hard it was going to be on me.
I went through a phase with my two oldest, I'm only now realizing.
When they were very small, I was crazy for them. Worried all the time.
Rushing to get to them at daycare - literally counting "minutes away" during the course of the day.
And then, for a period in between, up until the tween years, I let go. I finally felt safe I guess, for lack of a better word.
I knew they were old enough to get it and also that they needed to be independent and on their own. I was ok with leaving them. I thought about them during the day but wasn't missing them non-stop because I knew they were fine.
And then. One of them turned 16.
And everything changed.
Now, I have brand new things to worry about.
And I play out every.single.bad.scenario in my head. What is that? and how do I make it stop?
I feel like I just want to hold onto her. Make sure she is ok and that nothing bad happens.
Don't even get me started on boys.
Because I am in a whole other way out of my comfort zone there.
I was sure I would be fine when that day came. Turns out, I was wrong.
I like the nice things. The getting roses on valentine's day kinda nice. The teddy bears.
But the we are going to the movies, can I go to his house for a little while, can he come to our house...this part, I don't like so much.
We are trying, both my husband and I. Trying to be understanding, to "get with the times" but really, every time she walks into a room, I still picture her like this -
And I do not want that little sweetie pie doing anything except staying in with her mommy + daddy.
Too much to ask?
Any advice on learning to let go?
Right now, I'm contemplating locks on her door.
Winner of the Riccova necklace is Alison Gibb.
Winner of the Ballet Beauty necklace via Little Miss Twin Stars is Alina Conn.
Congrats! I will email you both today.