Ava Grace's Closet: In.Spired Series ~ All Work and No Play Makes Mommy go Something Something

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

In.Spired Series ~ All Work and No Play Makes Mommy go Something Something


in.spired 

  1. Of extraordinary quality, as if arising from some external creative impulse.
  2. (of a person) Exhibiting such a creative impulse in the activity specified: "an inspired gardener".
The blogging community is full of so many incredible women. Women who are far more creative than I. And have amazing stories to share. 
This is one of them.

I am super-excited to have Kimberly from All Work and No Play make Mommy go Something Something here with us today to wrap up the In.Spired series.
She is open, honest and often hilarious in her stories detailing her battle with post-partum depression following the birth of her sweet boy.
Please welcome my new friend Kimberly, who btw, is another fellow Canadian. Go us!

I shielded my eyes from the painful morning sun that began filtering in through the streaky windows. I sat skittishly as I was bombarded by the noises of hurried rubber soles squeaking across the waxed floor, repetitious beeps, and the tiny murmurs from the infant in the stroller; the thick smell of sterile plastic filled my tensed lungs.
I knew what was going to happen.
He was going to tell me that I was crazy.
He was going to tell me that I was an unfit Mother.
He was going to lock me up.
He was going to take away my baby.
I wanted to run but my thoughts whipped and crashed violently into one another, preventing a successful escape plan to take form. It was like 1000 voices spewing words and sentences into my ear, flooding my mind and pulling me farther from reality.
Nothing made any sense.
My heart pumped faster with every second, minute, and hour that we had waited. I could feel my soul forcefully pounding against my chest, wanting to fly out of my skin.
When I heard my name called. I stood up cautiously and grasped the stroller handles tightly.
They weren’t taking my baby.
The nurse directed us to back of the ER. Before she left us alone she turned to me and said, “Dr.B is the best doctor in our area. He is going to take really good care of you.”
He walked in shortly after.
Dr. B was a tall slender graying man with an air of gentleness. He introduced himself and asked me how I was feeling. My anxiety was so bad that I could only spit out no more than 2 words at a time.
He simply nodded his head and said that he completely understood me.
“We’re going to work as a team to get you better, ok? This is NOT your fault. You are sick. This doesn’t mean you’re crazy or a bad mother. We will get you better. I promise.”
And for the first time in weeks, I was able to breathe.
At the end of October 2008, I began my fight against postpartum depression and anxiety.
*****
“Help me” is probably the most feared statement in any language.
We worry if our concerns will be heard and validated.
We worry if we will get help.
And the worst worry that prevents us from getting help:
How will people perceive me?
But in order to move forward, to heal, to be lifted from the intense weight of a situation we need to get over those fears and ask for help.  
Know that it is ok to ask for help. It doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. It means that you are human with a real illness.
If you think you are suffering from a postpartum mood disorder, I encourage you to reach out to your doctor, spouse, family, and friends.
Ask for help.
You do not need to suffer in silence.
There is help out there.
There is hope in recovery.
But you can’t start the fight until you ask for help.
I encourage you to visit her blog here
Kimberly, thanks so much for being with us today! 
You are an inspiration.
Daily.

Meet the rest of the inspiring ladies here  :: Shannon, Amanda, Monica, Hanna and Celia
Thank you all for participating!

47 comments :

  1. Thank you so so MUCH Susan for letting me share my story here. I am so honoured!! xoxo

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  2. Kim, you are brave and honest and I love that you're such a vocal advocate for PPD. I know you're helping many our there who have no voice of their own. Love you. xo

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    1. Love you too Alison! Thanks for swinging on over here and being so supportive of me xoxo

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  3. For all the moms who suffered ppd they dont have to be in the dark anymore. at 20 years old with my first child i didnt have any support and dont even know what it was back then . i dont know how i got through it but i did.

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    1. I am so sorry that you had to suffer through that. A lot of women, even now, don't know about PPD. That's why it's so important that us moms talk about it more.
      I am glad that you kicked it in the butt.

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  4. Kimberly, this is so beautifully written - you are an amazing inspiration, and I admire your bravery. Thank you for sharing the start of your journey with us - I, especially, needed to hear this today, after a bit of a dip - might need to be saying those words 'I need help' myself. Thank you xx

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    1. I am so sorry to hear that Hannah. Know that I'm always here if you need to talk to someone.
      Hugs xoxo

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  5. I'm sure this powerful post will help so many women. As usual, Kimberly, you are generously opening up your heart and spirit to those who are going through what you have experienced. It can only help them, tremendously.

    xoxox

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  6. What a great post, thanks for sharing! My heart goes out to all the moms who suffer from PPD.

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    1. Thank you Tara. It's so important that we keep talking about it so that no woman has to suffer through it in silence. Thanks for your support!

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  7. Kimberly, you are truly inspiring. I love how you touch my heart. Big hugs to you, sweetheart! :-)

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    1. Love you so much too Vidya! Thank you for continuing to support me!!
      xoxo

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  8. Thank you, Ava Grace, Kimberly does rock, doesn't she?

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  9. It's so hard to ask for help - especially when you really need it. But you are an inspiration, my dear, I'm so glad you're my friend! xo

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    1. It is so hard...no matter what kind of "help" we need.
      xoox

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  10. Kim, you are so brave, strong, and honest. Pouring your heart out here has helped so many others in their journey as well. I am so proud of you.

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  11. My dearest Kim....So many times I reached (and continue to) out to you. No matter how you're feeling, you always know just the right words to say. Just like in this post. Here's to continued success with Dr. B!

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    1. I know that you'd do the exact same thing for me dear friend. And you'd kick some one in the man meat for me too.
      xoxo

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  12. This is so wonderful that you have given PPD a face and a amiling one at that. Makes people know there is help and HOPE out there.
    On a seperstae note - I really like this blog lay out and overall style. Nice job!
    Leigh @ oneandoneequalstwinfun.com

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    1. When I was searching for a connection online for women with PPD I found a blog (Postpartum Progress) that showcased all the survivors...and they were smiling. I think it's so important that moms suffering with PPD see that it can be defeated and that they can be happy again ;)

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  13. Love you Kim. You are my Chuck Norris.

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    1. You are the foot to my roundhouse kick
      xoxo

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  14. love this post! My sister in law ... has 3 sons... one was in the nicu, and another was in a different hospital due to a reaction the a peanut allergy...long story short she had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized herself... PPD in no joke...again great post!!

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    1. Wow that must have been so terrifying!! I don't know what I would have done if my son was sick on top of all this. My heart goes out to your sister. I hope that she kicked it's rear!

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  15. Beautifully told in words and your voice, as always, but ohmygoodness your transparent heart? Is stunning.

    (Thank you for this important post.)

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    1. Galit, you are awesome. A comment like that coming from such a gifted writer? Just blew my mind. Love you girl.

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  16. Beautiful, honest, heartbreaking, and comforting all at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing. You are inspiring.

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  17. Thank you for writing and publishing this, and every other word you've ever spoken about PPD and other forms of mental illness. Your voice is unique and beautiful, and I'm so proud to be your friend. *HUG*

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    1. Jenna you are so awesome. Thank you for supporting me through all of this xoxo

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  18. Thank you for sharing your story. I didn't experience PPD, but reading something like this helps me to sympathize with moms who do and gives me a greater desire to understand their pain and offer encouragement. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you so much Elizabeth. I'm so glad that you didn't have to experience this. perhaps my story will help you recognize this in other moms and will be able to reach out to them and encourage them to get help.

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  19. Love you, Kim. Just love you.

    Hearing your story gives me courage. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Love you too Natalie. Thank you so much for supporting me through all of this. xoxo

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  20. Kim, you really are a fighter and I salute you for your passionate ways to reach out, to share your stories with the world and to inspired others. I was ashamed to admit to my doctor that something didn't feel right after my son was born...I wish I did...maybe things would've been different. Thank you for this post.

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    1. Oh Maureen. It is so hard to ask for help. I think a lot of my issue was worrying about them thinking I was crazy/weak/terrible at motherhood. I had little knowledge about PPD.
      I am so sorry that you suffered in silence. I can't even imagine walking in that journey without help. Sending you giant hugs.

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  21. Once again, I'm in awe of your writing. Such a wonderful talent you have!
    Being open and honest about this illness, is the hardest thing to do, because we constantly have to deal with guilt and shame.
    And yet, you do it..all the time! And that means so much for me and other women out there, thank you so much Kimberly! xoxo

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    1. It is so hard to write about my journey. It really flares up horrible thoughts and feelings. But I need to. I remember feeling so alone in this...and I want at least one mom to stumble upon my journey and feel me giving her a warm hug and whispering that it's going to be ok.
      I needed that so badly when I was sick.
      xoox

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  22. Love you, Kimberly.
    So relieved to have wonderful moms like you sharing their stories.
    Necessary.
    thank you!
    xoxoxox

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  23. This is such a raw and wonderful story! I don't have any experience with PPD, but it seems to be more and more common, and it helps to get it out, and talk about it for others to deal with it. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. 1 in 8 women will experience a postpartum mood disorder. That's a staggering statistic. I think that more women are being diagnosed correctly, they are being educated on the signs and symptoms, and there is a lot of talk to bring awareness to this illness.
      The medical community is taking this more seriously than they did before.
      That's why I have to write. I write so that the one mom in 8 who feels so alone will stumble upon my story and get the courage to ask for help.

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  24. Kimberly ... WOW!! I felt each and every word you wrote... The water works began to fill my eyes. It is amazing how 4 little words (It's not your fault) can have a huge impact ... and no you are not going crazy. It wasn't until just a few months ago ( almost 5 1/2 years post accident) that a doctor finally explained to me that I can sit and speak to someone about what day to day activities (as an example) can be- wake, shower, brush teeth, get dressed etc. but to remember to them is a challenge because it's a different part of the brain used for actual function. To know something and to actually do it are two different things.

    May each day continue be great and the not so great days .. be few and far between.. blessings, xo HHL

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    1. You are such a beautiful person Celia.
      I think that this can apply to any illness/situation. A lot of women (men too) but the blame on themselves. But it's not our fault. We didn't ask to be sick.
      You have worked so hard in those 5 1/2 years. I can't even imagine. I really hope that in your healing that you do talk to someone because physical pain affects every aspect of life. I remember after my back injury (which is nothing in comparasion to what you deal with every day) my life turned upside down. I questioned faith. I lost friends. I had to give up my active lifestyle...it all played with my mind. I wish that I reached out then.

      Sending you much love xoxo

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  25. Kimberly, once again, I bow to your incredible strength, your open heart and your amazing ability to put it all into words to help other people. xoxo

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I love reading every last one. Thanks so much for stopping by our little blog. xo.

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