I woke up with a post in me today.
And the feeling that I had to put pen to paper so to speak.
After posting about our Ava Grace on instagram late yesterday - and sharing some of the woes of starting a new school in first grade; I was overwhelmed by the response and kindness of so many mamas.
Mamas, who like me, had been there.
We moved Ava to a new school in my parent's neighbourhood to ease the burden of having to put her into a before and after school program. She loves to hang out with her nana and papa after school and honestly, I think it all but saved my father.
Being retired, keeping busy is what makes him happiest - having a sense of purpose and getting to spend extra quality time with his youngest granddaughter is a bonus.
I expected the first few days to be difficult.
I watched her tentatively approach other children on the playground - she is much braver than I ever was. Much braver than her older brother and sister ever were.
She did it again and again until she finally gave up.
Tears welled up in her eyes and she purposefully strode back to where I was standing at the fence holding back my own tears.
As the days progressed, I felt relieved in knowing that there was a "buddy system" in place whereby no child is left alone during recess or lunch break.
I thought things were getting better.
And daily, I would ask her who she played with. Who her favourite girls might be. What was the most fun part of her day.
And while it seemed ok, she still didn't like this new school.
Last night, we had our usual before bed conversation and she opened up about going onto the playground with another little girl.
She followed her towards two grade two girls who were playing whatever game it is that grade two girls play.
Her friend began to play along and then, the older two told Ava she could not.
They proceeded to tell her to "go away".
And she did.
My heart was broken.
The image of my beautiful, kind, fun, I love everyone child getting excluded. Shunned. And told to leave?
It is just too much for my sensitive mama heart to handle.
I know it happens.
I get it. I've been there myself.
But, seriously, who is teaching children of 6 or 7 to be so mean?
What happened to kindness?
Today, Wednesday, is my day to pick up Ava from school.
I am considering having her point them out.
I know I shouldn't. I know I'm not "supposed to".
But sometimes? Sometimes the mama bear just needs to come out and make things right.
Wish me luck.