Can you Have it ALL? : Tia + Tamera on Style Network

As a young girl, I don't ever remember thinking I couldn't have it all.

My parents encouraged school, focusing on a career and getting married as late as possible.

My mother truly wanted me to enjoy my life. Enjoy my youth. The carefree days where I could sleep in, go where I wanted, do what I wanted and basically, have no one to think of but myself.

I did work from as early on as I could. 

I loved the freedom having my own money could provide.

I also liked the shoes it could provide. 

I never really dreamed of being a "career woman" but then again, I also never really dreamed of being a wife. Or someone's mother.

I definitely never dreamed of being a stay.at.home wife and mother. 

Sure, I knew that I would probably get married one day. And once I did, I wanted to have children right away. 

I didn't consider the fact that these decisions would impact who I would become as a person and ultimately, what turn my life would take. 

When we first married we were busy with our first home and getting used to living together.
 I had never lived away from home before! Let's face it, I was a huge baby. 

And, just a month later, this baby found out she was going to have a baby.

I was over the moon. And ignorant. Very, very ignorant.

The birth of my first child was the single most important thing that ever happened to me.

I loved Isabella with everything I was. 

And when it came time to return to work after a 6 month maternity leave, I thought my life would end. 

But it didn't.

Life moved along, I worked a challenging and rewarding job and I was happy. 

Somehow, I still managed to clean my own home, do my own laundry and spend every waking moment of my weekend with my baby girl. 
I had what I thought was balance.

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I never considered staying home.

Not for a moment. 

We were building our life together and wanted the best for our little family.

I needed to work. 

And, if I'm being honest, I think I liked the idea of staying home but it was never really for me.

Fast forward. 

When Isabella was three and a half years old, Julian joined our family.

He rocked my world. 

I was a complete blubbering mess. I cannot put into words how much I loved him. 

When it came time for me to go back to work, {this time after a BLESSED one year maternity leave} I didn't think I could do it. 

Thankfully, he was looked after by my mother for the first year. It made it easier. 

When the time came for him to go to daycare at two years of age, I'm not sure who cried more, him or me. 

I would drop him off. And then cry all the way to work.

But again, I never considered staying home. 

It just wasn't an option.

I worked in corporate management for over 18 years when I found out, quite surprisingly, that I was pregnant with my third baby at 39. 

You can read about it here.

Again, I stayed home for the allotted one year maternity leave. I then extended the leave for an additional six months.

I was smitten with this little one. Again.

But something was different this time. 

I was older. And I knew she would be my last.

I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed my first year with her. Even on no sleep.

Then, like all good things, my extended leave came to an end and I returned to work. 

We hired a live-in nanny this go-around. I thought it would be the perfect solution. 

I was SO wrong. 

Things in the corporate world were just like they had always been.

Fast-paced, busy. I hadn't been there a full week when I had to attend 10 hours of meetings leaving before dark and coming home well past my kid's bedtime.

It upset me. 

Here I was, the woman who was always touted as being able to "do it all". Run a household, look after her children AND hold down a demanding corporate job. 

But guess what?
I just didn't have it in me.

I didn't feel like I had it all anymore.

After all, what exactly does "having it all" really mean?

I resigned after 21 years with the same organization.

You can read all about that here.

Was it an easy decision? No. 

But, it was the best decision I could have made for my family. And for me. 

I know I will return to the work force one day. It's just who I am.

And in the meantime? I started this little blog to keep my creative juices flowing. 

It allows me to dabble in the fashion industry; which I adore. 

While still being able to be home for those I adore more.

I have all I need. 

And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

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Now, imagine sharing all of these struggles on camera? Not sure how entertaining my life would be but I'm up for a reality show if anyone is interested. Ahem.

Tia + Tamera's 3rd season premieres this Sunday, July 14th at 8pm on The Style Network.

I assure you, any mama juggling house, home, career or family will definitely relate.
That and their wardrobes are pretty amazing.

This article is sponsored by the Style Network.
Image Credit above : Matthias Clamer/The Style Network