Ava Grace's Closet: Can you Have it ALL? : Tia + Tamera on Style Network
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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Can you Have it ALL? : Tia + Tamera on Style Network

As a young girl, I don't ever remember thinking I couldn't have it all.
My parents encouraged school, focusing on a career and getting married as late as possible.
My mother truly wanted me to enjoy my life. Enjoy my youth. The carefree days where I could sleep in, go where I wanted, do what I wanted and basically, have no one to think of but myself.
I did work from as early on as I could. 
I loved the freedom having my own money could provide.
I also liked the shoes it could provide. 

I never really dreamed of being a "career woman" but then again, I also never really dreamed of being a wife. Or someone's mother.
I definitely never dreamed of being a stay.at.home wife and mother. 
Sure, I knew that I would probably get married one day. And once I did, I wanted to have children right away. 
I didn't consider the fact that these decisions would impact who I would become as a person and ultimately, what turn my life would take. 

When we first married we were busy with our first home and getting used to living together.
 I had never lived away from home before! Let's face it, I was a huge baby. 
And, just a month later, this baby found out she was going to have a baby.
I was over the moon. And ignorant. Very, very ignorant.
The birth of my first child was the single most important thing that ever happened to me.
I loved Isabella with everything I was. 
And when it came time to return to work after a 6 month maternity leave, I thought my life would end. 
But it didn't.
Life moved along, I worked a challenging and rewarding job and I was happy. 
Somehow, I still managed to clean my own home, do my own laundry and spend every waking moment of my weekend with my baby girl. 
I had what I thought was balance.
I never considered staying home.
Not for a moment. 
We were building our life together and wanted the best for our little family.
I needed to work. 
And, if I'm being honest, I think I liked the idea of staying home but it was never really for me.
Fast forward. 
When Isabella was three and a half years old, Julian joined our family.
He rocked my world. 
I was a complete blubbering mess. I cannot put into words how much I loved him. 
When it came time for me to go back to work, {this time after a BLESSED one year maternity leave} I didn't think I could do it. 
Thankfully, he was looked after by my mother for the first year. It made it easier. 
When the time came for him to go to daycare at two years of age, I'm not sure who cried more, him or me. 
I would drop him off. And then cry all the way to work.
But again, I never considered staying home. 
It just wasn't an option.

I worked in corporate management for over 18 years when I found out, quite surprisingly, that I was pregnant with my third baby at 39. 
You can read about it here.
Again, I stayed home for the allotted one year maternity leave. I then extended the leave for an additional six months.
I was smitten with this little one. Again.
But something was different this time. 
I was older. And I knew she would be my last.
I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed my first year with her. Even on no sleep.
Then, like all good things, my extended leave came to an end and I returned to work. 
We hired a live-in nanny this go-around. I thought it would be the perfect solution. 
I was SO wrong. 

Things in the corporate world were just like they had always been.
Fast-paced, busy. I hadn't been there a full week when I had to attend 10 hours of meetings leaving before dark and coming home well past my kid's bedtime.
It upset me. 
Here I was, the woman who was always touted as being able to "do it all". Run a household, look after her children AND hold down a demanding corporate job. 
But guess what?
I just didn't have it in me.
I didn't feel like I had it all anymore.
After all, what exactly does "having it all" really mean?

I resigned after 21 years with the same organization.
You can read all about that here.
Was it an easy decision? No. 
But, it was the best decision I could have made for my family. And for me. 
I know I will return to the work force one day. It's just who I am.
And in the meantime? I started this little blog to keep my creative juices flowing. 
It allows me to dabble in the fashion industry; which I adore. 
While still being able to be home for those I adore more.

I have all I need. 
And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Now, imagine sharing all of these struggles on camera? Not sure how entertaining my life would be but I'm up for a reality show if anyone is interested. Ahem.
Tia + Tamera's 3rd season premieres this Sunday, July 14th at 8pm on The Style Network.
I assure you, any mama juggling house, home, career or family will definitely relate.
That and their wardrobes are pretty amazing.

This article is sponsored by the Style Network.
Image Credit above : Matthias Clamer/The Style Network


  1. Well .. said! As women we wear way too many hats and we need to LEARN it's ok to put some away for another season. Hugs and Blessings, C. (HHL)

  2. Aww, I can so relate to this. I'm just recently a stay home mom, out of the corporate world for only a little over three months. It is the best feeling ever!

  3. Dearest Susan,
    LOVE this kind of honest and great writing about yourself; nothing fake but just reality. You did reverse it however by stating: When my youngest was three and a half years old, Julian joined our family... Of course you meant your oldest. Wouldn't that be nice to do it all in reversed order?!
    Will read your older posts later at my leisure.
    Enjoy your summer and the best part of it coming up...

  4. i loved all of this. thanks for sharing your heart. and thanks for sharing both sides of the spectrum and most importantly thanks for sharing that you did what works BEST for your family!!!

    i had the opposite story i went to school and got a degree when most of my family never did and then felt such a heavy heart about leaving my kids. i literally could not do. lucky i have a husband who supports that and would rather me be home than him .lol.

    love this ; )

  5. Very well said. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with both my boys and experience every wonderful, and sometimes not so wonderful, moments of their lives. Memories I'll have until the day I die. They are irreplaceable.

  6. It is great that you actually had the choice and decided what was and is right for you. When my children were young, I stayed at home for a couple years. Now they are grown up and I don't have a choice anyway but they will always be the most important for me and we still spend as much time together as possible.

    Lady of Style

  7. You may not be able to have "it all," but from the looks of it, you've got it pretty good with those sweet kiddos.:) Glad you made the decision that was right for your family, even if that decision was different at different times.

  8. I think we can have it all just maybe not at the same time and not in the way that we thought. I hope that when I have kids I'll be able to have long maternity leave like you did.

    I love the Tia and Tamera reality show and will be watching this season.

  9. I have done a hybrid of stay at home. I stayed home with my first until he was four. When I had my second I worked part time taking her to work with me. When the 3rd came just 14 months after the 2nd, I stayed home until they were 2 & 3. I worked until they were 4 & 5 and then I stayed home again, and my 4th child is four. I plan to go back to work when he goes to school at 5, but I may change my mind. I am constantly busy at home, and I want to cherish every second of my last child and the remaining years at home of my girls!

  10. Wow!
    You did an amazing job :)

    Here is my in case you want to read it :)

  11. I didn't know about this show! I will have to watch it!

  12. Aw look, they're all grown up! Lovely women with beautiful kids.

    Your children are lovely and I bet keeping up with all you have to do would make a good show too!

  13. Loving this post!!! So kind and honest. Thank you for sharing.

  14. Love this post! I think you have it pretty good:)

  15. This is a great post and I love the quote. I really believe that the secret of having it all is believing you do. I love your honesty.

  16. Love your voice in this post - thank you for sharing!

  17. What a wonderful post! That is so awesome that you had a choice and made the right decision for you! Once we have children, I hope I can stay at home with them, and even home school!

  18. Loved your post!! You go momma!! :)
    Life is good.

    From PDX with Love

  19. love the post! thanks for sharing! xo xo

  20. You have to do what feels right for you and for your family and not worry about all the external influences. Whatever creates happiness for your family is most important.

  21. I have always worked and when the company I worked for moved out of state, it hit me hard to be jobless. I think over time I grew to love the extra time I had for family.

  22. I can definitely relate! I work 12 pm - 8:30 pm every day and juggle a husband and three kids - my life is crazy busy!! :( I love Tia & Tamera though!! :)

  23. I hadn't heard about this show!

  24. I loved their show back in the TGIF days!

  25. I'm going to check out their show - it looks like something I would definitely enjoy!

  26. Wow, this gave me goose bumps. Your kids are beautiful and so was this post :-)

  27. Great post - I don't think we should ever stop dreaming about having it all - it's good to have things to strive towards. x

  28. great post --I love Tia and Tamera--these are gals I want to hang with!!

  29. Your post was an interesting read,it made me think about, 'having it all.' I've never seen myself as a career woman even when I was working, for me my job was a means to an end, a necessity at the time. As a wife and a Mom, I feel like I have it all ~ Life is beautiful. I love that no two people are the same and having it all can mean something different to each one of us.

  30. Awww, I am having to go back to work now after 18 months of being gone, I am so not ready to leave my little guy :(

  31. Thank you for sharing your story. Being a stay at home mom is the toughest, most rewarding career you can ever have.

  32. You are my hero. I loved your post. Thank you for sharing that quote too - The secret to having it all...

    I remember Tia & Tamera!

  33. Thank you for your story. You have discovered the secret to having it all :)

  34. i like tia and tamera cause i could learn so much by watching their show. being a mom i can relate to your post i hope you could blog more and inspire other mom like me

  35. what i learned is enjoy life and let it flow. because we never know what will happen next. good things will always come if we enjoy our life:)

  36. i learned so much through this ,i really love it its relates so much to every mother,thnx for the post

  37. I loved this post! I think you have it very good!

  38. I learned to be a multitasking woman just like Tia + Tamera.


I love reading every last one. Thanks so much for stopping by our little blog. xo.