Insomniac

Sadly, true.

After all of these months of wishing for sleep -

I now cannot.

Regardless of what I try.

And I have tried everything.

Camomile tea.

Warm milk.

Cooler room. Warmer room.

Completely other room.

Tylenol PM. (these worked. but then I got addicted.)

Melatonin. For 2 straight weeks like "they" said to do.

Advil. Way too much of it. And sometimes motrin.

Wine. 2 glasses. (no, not with the motrin)

I still did not sleep. 

In spurts, absolutely.

But the awakenings are constant.

And sometimes lengthy.

Hence the late night twitter reads. And subsequent pinterest addiction.

I visited my longtime family doctor.

Who took one look at me and said I needed to sleep. very badly.

She prescribed sleeping pills. I can't recall what kind.

These also worked.

Although her plan of "relearning" didn't.

I slept on the nights I took a pill.

I didn't on nights I did not.

I am spent.

My body just physically can't take it anymore.

Pregnancy. A baby who has yet to sleep through consistently

=  almost two years since I have slept an entire night. Two years.

Before resorting to a sleep clinic, (who knew these even existed?) I decided to try the "natural" route.

I left the health food store with -

L-Tryptophane (2 horse-sized not kidding pills nightly), melatonin (in a larger dose) and some magical herbal relaxing tea.

I am on week two of the regime.

And honestly, it is killing me.

But, I will give this a fair shake.

Not sure what my alternative is.

And wondering if I will ever sleep on my own again.